Literature
The Truth of This Matter
I have been asked why I wanted to die so badly a week ago.
I wanted to die not because I felt overwhelmed, or useless, or anything like that – I have been worthless and stained my whole life, so no, those would not manifest in this way, not now. I wanted to die so badly not because I feel as if I am hopeless, and not because I feel alone. People have reiterated that they care and I understand that.
I wanted – and, honestly, maybe even still want to – die, because I am a runner. That is all I have ever done. I run from memories and people. I am that person who sees the problem, who takes the problem, who analyzes the proble